Just Being Myself

Happy Thanksgiving! So I just wrote a post on my DCP blog  here  about what I'm thankful for, but I wanted to do one on here that wasn't as Disney related. I have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful for my wonderful family. Next week I will get to see my dad's parents as well as my biological father, Jeff, and my brother and sister. They're coming up to see me perform in Dicken's Festival. I seriously couldn't have asked for a better family. My parents have been amazing. They're letting me live with them to save money for the Disney College Program. Throughout my entire life I've never had a support system better than that of my mom and dad. It's going to be so weird not to have them right up the road when I'm living in Florida, but my mom is constantly reminding me I'm doing what's best for my future and it's her words of support that help me when I'm second guessing my choice. I am also so incredibly thankful for m

So a few weeks ago I applied for the Disney College Program. It's an amazing opportunity and I did a post on that  here.  Well I was checking my email the other day and I saw this beautiful message: I am beyond ecstatic to announce that I will be attending the Disney College Program for the Spring Advantage 2016. It was not an easy decision, but I know that if I turn this down I will regret it for the rest of my life. I can't wait to see what this experience has in store for me. In less than four months I will be working for one of the most magical places on earth. I feel incredibly blessed and lucky that everything worked out in the end.

When I auditioned for Fiddler on the Roof at a local theatre here in town, I never thought that I could get cast in the children's show Bridge to Terabithia. Imagine my surprise when I was approached by the director to be an understudy for Miss Edmunds, as well as an Assistant Stage Manager. I eagerly agreed, and thus began one of the craziest summers I've experienced so far. While I was disappointed to have not made it into Fiddler , I am so thankful to have been given the opportunity to have worked on Bridge to Terabithia. Because it is a children's show, most of the roles were double cast meaning we have two closing nights. Tonight was the final performance ever of Bridge to Terabithia  at Brigham's Playhouse. Closing night is always a bittersweet feeling. I'm anxious to move on to the next show, or to even have a break from shows and have a chance to breathe for a little while before jumping into the next production. But on the other side of that, I'm nev

So about two months ago, I started looking into attending the Disney College Program. What the Disney College Program is a chance for college students to take the semester and go to either Walt Disney World  Resort in Florida or Disneyland in California and do an internship. This is a great opportunity, and it's piqued my interest. I'm a huge Disney fan, I love everything that Disney is. I would give anything to work for one of the most magical companies out there. I've been reading blogs and watching YouTube videos and with each new view I get more and more excited for when my turn comes. I've decided that I will most likely do the program in the fall of 2016, due to conflicts with school. I'm Assistant Director for one of the shows we're doing in the spring and I'm working under one of my favorite professors, an experience that I am beyond ecstatic for. Not only that, but I'll finally have my Associate's Degree this spring. I've put graduating

It's been a while since I've posted but there's something I just can't seem to shake off my mind. When I first  broke the silence regarding my rape,  I thought I was strong enough to share my story. That thought was quickly turned down three days later when I had a level 10 meltdown, I couldn't speak, it was hard to breathe and the tears were horrible, genuinely nasty sobs that choke your throat and leave your face covered in snot. The suffocation continued to grow worse until I finally wrote a letter  to my rapist  and let my relief come through my writing as it always has. In the months since these posts I like to think I've grown and learned more about myself through these experiences. I'm slowly starting to find my voice again. I'm no longer afraid to tell my story to others, in fact I'll gladly share it with anyone who asks and even those who probably could've carried on their lives never knowing that information. I'm still nervous to sh

I can't help but wonder if you think about me. I wonder if you've heard about me coming clean, if the thought terrifies you as much as it did me. I wonder if you know what you did was wrong or if you're still in denial, or maybe you honestly don't believe what you did was rape. I'm glad you're gone, that I never have to see you. I like not knowing when you come to town. But on the flip side of that, I never know. If I'm out shopping and I see someone who looks like you I panic. The anxiety builds and I'm frozen with terror. My heart races and I hurry to control my frantic breathing, to mask to the world around me that I'm ten seconds away from a massive panic attack. When you ended up at the same restaurant as my family and me, I refused to move from my table and chose to stay safe behind the wall dividing us. I forgive you. I really do, but that doesn't mean I ever want to see your face again. That doesn't mean I can't still be angry. I