Hello Again!
Has it been the hottest of seconds since I have posted on here! And wow what a difference nearly 4 years can make. If you had asked me 12 months ago if I thought there would be a shiny new ring on my finger, and that my heart would be so full of love and joy again... I 110% would've called you insane, told you that nobody would ever want this mess and that it doesn't matter because I am taking the year to focus on myself. I truly believed that statement until Ryan came along.
Ryan and I go way back. In 2011, I moved from my small performing arts high school to the scary new world that was Pine View High School. Joining Band and Theater classes were no question to me, and so into the arts I went. I played the flute, he played the saxophone. We started talking but the butterflies never hit me. Then Junior year started that August and Ryan joined my theater class. Something about that boy joining the thespian ranks made me fall hard and fast into a schoolgirl crush. That schoolgirl crush that went absolutely nowhere because he had a girlfriend. I resigned myself to being his friend because he was such an incredible human and I was content just having his presence in my life. Senior year rolled around and Ryan had moved to California. We stayed in touch and moved on with our lives.
Fast forward now to June 2020. By this point I had my share of dating and hit my breaking point. I had thrown my hands up in the air and decided to turn it back to God. When my pastor had suggested six months earlier to take a break from dating and lean in to my season of singleness I didn't take him seriously. It took me six months but I had finally accepted the fact that the man was in fact very wise and brought up some valid points I wasn't ready to face within myself. (If you're reading this Pastor Brian, I'm sorry for not listening to you the first time.) It was like something finally clicked and I felt the need to stop searching. I was content with being single. The next relationship I pursued would be the one that'll end in marriage... when I was ready. I remember texting my dear friend Baylee so excited to share with her my revelation and my mission to start preparing my heart for my future husband. This revelation came at the perfect time, I had a trip planned out to California to go visit my family and I was excited for the time away to clear my mind.
Remember how I mentioned Ryan lived in California? Well every once in a while when I'd go down to visit he'd see I was there and we'd try and meet up and then it never happened. The same thing happened again, only this time he was single. I'm not going to lie, seeing that new relationship status on his page made me excited. I had to laugh and remind myself I'm not supposed to be dating, I'm preparing my heart for someone special... besides Ryan was just a friend and that friendship would never develop into something more. After we failed to meet up, I was sad but Ryan told me he would be moving to St. George at the end of the month and we'll finally have to meet up.
I remember arranging that first meeting. I was so nervous all day before hand and I had one of my friends at school do my hair before our coffee date. I remember telling her he was my high school theater crush and I have no idea where this is going but I'm excited to have him back in my life. Walking in to Barnes & Noble the second I laid eyes on him my stomach was instantly filled with butterflies. Things were new and awkward between us and I was confused... I mean this is Ryan. He's my best friend. Why are things all of the sudden weird between us? Later I'd find out he'd been thinking of me for a while and that he was nervous to see me again. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew we were talking about starting a relationship together. For the first time in a really long time, I saw a future with someone and I wasn't scared.
We finally made things official in October... we took our sweet time making sure we knew what we wanted. I joke we were making up for lost time with how fast we went from the boyfriend and girlfriend title to that of fiancee. I never in a million years thought I'd be saying yes to forever with someone after only dating them for three months and that's exactly what I did with Ryan.
Life is getting scary really fast. But in all of the chaos, he is the one that anchors me. I am grateful to have him, and I know that no matter where this pandemic takes us in the next week or even the next month that we will be facing this together. There is not a soul on this planet that I'd rather face the end of the world with than him... so here's to my forever person. I sure do love you! <3
Has it been the hottest of seconds since I have posted on here! And wow what a difference nearly 4 years can make. If you had asked me 12 months ago if I thought there would be a shiny new ring on my finger, and that my heart would be so full of love and joy again... I 110% would've called you insane, told you that nobody would ever want this mess and that it doesn't matter because I am taking the year to focus on myself. I truly believed that statement until Ryan came along.
Ryan and I go way back. In 2011, I moved from my small performing arts high school to the scary new world that was Pine View High School. Joining Band and Theater classes were no question to me, and so into the arts I went. I played the flute, he played the saxophone. We started talking but the butterflies never hit me. Then Junior year started that August and Ryan joined my theater class. Something about that boy joining the thespian ranks made me fall hard and fast into a schoolgirl crush. That schoolgirl crush that went absolutely nowhere because he had a girlfriend. I resigned myself to being his friend because he was such an incredible human and I was content just having his presence in my life. Senior year rolled around and Ryan had moved to California. We stayed in touch and moved on with our lives.
Fast forward now to June 2020. By this point I had my share of dating and hit my breaking point. I had thrown my hands up in the air and decided to turn it back to God. When my pastor had suggested six months earlier to take a break from dating and lean in to my season of singleness I didn't take him seriously. It took me six months but I had finally accepted the fact that the man was in fact very wise and brought up some valid points I wasn't ready to face within myself. (If you're reading this Pastor Brian, I'm sorry for not listening to you the first time.) It was like something finally clicked and I felt the need to stop searching. I was content with being single. The next relationship I pursued would be the one that'll end in marriage... when I was ready. I remember texting my dear friend Baylee so excited to share with her my revelation and my mission to start preparing my heart for my future husband. This revelation came at the perfect time, I had a trip planned out to California to go visit my family and I was excited for the time away to clear my mind.
Remember how I mentioned Ryan lived in California? Well every once in a while when I'd go down to visit he'd see I was there and we'd try and meet up and then it never happened. The same thing happened again, only this time he was single. I'm not going to lie, seeing that new relationship status on his page made me excited. I had to laugh and remind myself I'm not supposed to be dating, I'm preparing my heart for someone special... besides Ryan was just a friend and that friendship would never develop into something more. After we failed to meet up, I was sad but Ryan told me he would be moving to St. George at the end of the month and we'll finally have to meet up.
I remember arranging that first meeting. I was so nervous all day before hand and I had one of my friends at school do my hair before our coffee date. I remember telling her he was my high school theater crush and I have no idea where this is going but I'm excited to have him back in my life. Walking in to Barnes & Noble the second I laid eyes on him my stomach was instantly filled with butterflies. Things were new and awkward between us and I was confused... I mean this is Ryan. He's my best friend. Why are things all of the sudden weird between us? Later I'd find out he'd been thinking of me for a while and that he was nervous to see me again. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew we were talking about starting a relationship together. For the first time in a really long time, I saw a future with someone and I wasn't scared.
We finally made things official in October... we took our sweet time making sure we knew what we wanted. I joke we were making up for lost time with how fast we went from the boyfriend and girlfriend title to that of fiancee. I never in a million years thought I'd be saying yes to forever with someone after only dating them for three months and that's exactly what I did with Ryan.
Life is getting scary really fast. But in all of the chaos, he is the one that anchors me. I am grateful to have him, and I know that no matter where this pandemic takes us in the next week or even the next month that we will be facing this together. There is not a soul on this planet that I'd rather face the end of the world with than him... so here's to my forever person. I sure do love you! <3
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