I've been thinking today and I realized, I have lost a lot of people. The number of people I've lost is tremendous. I'm 18, I shouldn't have this much experience with death for crying out loud! Usually I can just file away all that loss into a cabinet deep, deep in my mind and forget about it all. I know that these people are gone, but I just choose not to acknowledge that fact. It's really easy to go on doing that and living life as though these people have never passed on. However the anniversary of that loss always makes it really rough for me to forget and in my experience that first anniversary is always the hardest one to over come. What I wouldn't give if I could just see all these people who are gone and hold them one more time, hear their laughter and smell their sweet scent. What I wouldn't pay to say "I love you" one last time.
Let me fill you in really fast. Last week I received a call from my mom that my uncle was found unresponsive in his house the night before, they had taken him to the hospital where it was discovered that he had a lump the size of an orange in his lung. He was then kept on life support until my great grandma could get out there and say goodbye. This hit me so incredibly hard. Sure we weren't real close or anything but I had just received a card from him in May for graduation! He was supposed to be moving to Colorado to take care of my Great Grandma. He wasn't supposed to die! I kept waiting and waiting for that phone call that confirmed he was gone, a week passed and still not a word. Monday I received that dreaded call. I still haven't really wrapped my head around it all. I still can't believe that he's gone. I feel hollowed out inside. I feel drained and tired. I really wasn't expecting yet another death to come shake me to my core. But God has a plan for all of this... I just need to remember to stay strong and keep my faith in him that good will come out of this.
A year ago today, I received some totally unexpected news. Phil and Melissa Wiebe had lost their baby boy. All of those around Phil and Melissa were floored. I know I have no room to talk about my grief and loss when there are those people like Phil and Melissa who have lost their child. There are those who have lost their parents. My loss is somewhat insignificant compared to all that. But here's the thing: we all suffer loss. And everybody takes their losses in a different way. Some people crumble to pieces while others grow stronger. Everybody is different. If there is one thing all this death has taught me it's this:
Let me fill you in really fast. Last week I received a call from my mom that my uncle was found unresponsive in his house the night before, they had taken him to the hospital where it was discovered that he had a lump the size of an orange in his lung. He was then kept on life support until my great grandma could get out there and say goodbye. This hit me so incredibly hard. Sure we weren't real close or anything but I had just received a card from him in May for graduation! He was supposed to be moving to Colorado to take care of my Great Grandma. He wasn't supposed to die! I kept waiting and waiting for that phone call that confirmed he was gone, a week passed and still not a word. Monday I received that dreaded call. I still haven't really wrapped my head around it all. I still can't believe that he's gone. I feel hollowed out inside. I feel drained and tired. I really wasn't expecting yet another death to come shake me to my core. But God has a plan for all of this... I just need to remember to stay strong and keep my faith in him that good will come out of this.
A year ago today, I received some totally unexpected news. Phil and Melissa Wiebe had lost their baby boy. All of those around Phil and Melissa were floored. I know I have no room to talk about my grief and loss when there are those people like Phil and Melissa who have lost their child. There are those who have lost their parents. My loss is somewhat insignificant compared to all that. But here's the thing: we all suffer loss. And everybody takes their losses in a different way. Some people crumble to pieces while others grow stronger. Everybody is different. If there is one thing all this death has taught me it's this:
- Be the kind of person you'd want others to remember you by should you die tonight.
- Love every one around you and cherish every memory because this could be your last moment with them.
- Thank God each and every day that you are alive and well. Thank him for every breath you and your loved ones breathe because you never know when it could be that last breath.
- If you wake up in the morning, be grateful for that... don't complain about the little things that don't go your way. You are alive and breathing... that in itself is reason to rejoice.
- Hold those you love tight. Parents hug and kiss your children. Read them one last bed time story when they ask. Cherish every memory you are making: both the good and the bad.
- Be happy with everything you are given. Remember there are those around you who would be thankful for what you are ungrateful for.
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